


The Devil Made Me Do It

by TazzyJan



Category: A-Team (TV)
Genre: Angst, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Rape Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-07
Updated: 2013-11-07
Packaged: 2017-12-31 19:17:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1035401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TazzyJan/pseuds/TazzyJan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A new doctor at the VA starts running an experiment on Murdock with horrific results.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Devil Made Me Do It

"What's the matter, Faceman?" Murdock asked as he stared down at his friend. 

The gag in Face's mouth prevented him from answering, just as the restraints kept him from getting up from the bed. He looked up at his friend with wide blue eyes that showed both his confusion and a touch of fear. Face did not know how he had gotten here or what had happened to Murdock, but he knew he was in serious trouble.

Murdock continued to stare down at his friend. He could feel himself getting hard as Face struggled in his bonds. Slowly, Murdock withdrew a knife from the bedside table. Face's eyes went even wider as his friend brought the knife down to his face. Deliberately, Murdock trailed the knife along his cheek then down his neck to his chest. He let it rest there for a moment, then began to slice the buttons off of Face's silk shirt. 

Face stopped struggling and held his breath as the razor sharp knife removed the buttons. The tip of the knife cut into his chest causing him to flinch involuntarily. Once the buttons were gone, Murdock flicked the shirt open to reveal Face's upper body. With a leer, Murdock leaned down to lick the blood off his friend's chest where the knife had cut him. Face moaned as he felt Murdock's hot tongue on his flesh. He began to struggle in his restraints again, as fear rushed through him. He did not know where Murdock was taking this, but he was sure that he did not want to go there.

The taste of Face's blood made Murdock even harder. He continued to lick and suck at the spot for almost a minute before bringing his face up next to his friend's. He was close enough that Face could smell his blood on the other man's breath. Murdock stared into those wide blue eyes for a moment, then slowly brought one of his hands up to caress Face's genitals. Even through the gag Murdock could make out the 'NO' his friend yelled.

"What's wrong, muchacho? Don't you want to play anymore?" Murdock asked with a smile. 

Face shook his head back and forth as Murdock's hand continued to gently caress him through his pants. Murdock could see the panic in his eyes as he realized just how helpless he was. Leaning forward, Murdock closed the scant inches that separated them, and covering Face's gagged mouth with his own.   
He let his tongue explore the inside of Face's mouth then began to suckle on his lower lip. His hands never stopped their gentle caressing of Face's penis. 

Without warning, Murdock bid down hard, drawing blood. Face cried out in both surprise and pain as the blood was licked from his mouth. Laughing, Murdock stood up again. He took a moment to look at the man laid out before him like an offering and felt a shudder of desire run through him. He was brought out of his reverie by the muffled noises coming from Face as he tried to talk around the gag.

"Did you want to say something, Faceman?" Murdock asked. 

Face shook his head vigorously in mute reply.

"I tell you what. I'll remove your gag and you can say or ask me one thing. "How's that?"

Again Face nodded his answer.

"Just remember, if you piss me off, muchacho, you'll regret it," Murdock said, then slowly bent down to remove Face's gag. It took a moment for Murdock to untie the gag, after all, he had wanted to make sure it would stay in place. Finally, he got the knot undone and removed the soaked cloth from Face's mouth.

"Now," Murdock asked, "what was it you wanted to say?"

Face thought for just a moment. There was really just one question he wanted answered, but he was scared to death of what that answer might be. Summoning up his courage, he asked the only question he could think of.

"Why, Murdock? Why?" 

"Because I can, Faceman. That's why."

Face stared back at his friend in shocked silence. He had known he was in trouble here, but he had not known just how much trouble until now. He knew his only hope was that the others would get here in time to stop whatever his friend had planned.

Murdock watched the shock and surprise play across his friend's face. Not one to pass up a prime opportunity, he decided to take advantage of the situation. He quickly reached down and grabbed Face by the back of the head, winding his fingers in the man's hair to get a good grip. 

As he brought his face down he hissed, "Bite me and I will remove one of your testicles. Do you understand?"

Face remained silent at first, his mind reeling. Some part of him just refused to believe that Murdock would do this to him. Not Murdock. 

"DO YOU UNDERSTAND?" Murdock yelled as he tightened his grip.

"Ye…yes," Face stammered as he blinked back tears.

"Good," Murdock whispered as he once again covered Face's mouth with his own. 

With no gag in the way, Murdock had much better access to the other man's mouth. He immediately thrust his tongue inside, eager to consume all that he could of the other. As he raped Face's mouth with his tongue, he again brought his hand up to the man's genitals and began to fondle him. Face found he could not stop the tears that had threatened before from spilling down his cheeks as his best friend violated him.

Finally, Murdock pulled back from his exploration of his friend's mouth. Face's eyes were wide open and he could see the tears coursing freely down his cheeks. Murdock's brown eyes stared deeply into frightened blue ones for what seemed like an eternity. All at once, Murdock's eyes appeared to soften. Gently, he reached out and caressed his friend's face, wiping away the tears that had fallen.

"Don't cry, Faceman," Murdock said quietly. "I won't hurt you."

"Murdock?" Face whispered, as he saw a glimpse of the Murdock he knew. "Help me, please."

"Help you?" Murdock asked in confusion as those soft brown eyes turned hard and cruel again. "I don't think so, Face." 

"no…" Face whispered in denial.

"Didn't I tell you NOT to piss me off?" Murdock said quietly. He stood up then and looked down at his friend. Fear was written all over his face, though he tried not to let it show.

"You wanted to know WHY, Face?" Murdock asked. 

Face stayed quiet, trying desperately not to push Murdock over the edge. If Murdock killed him, he knew the pilot would never be able to forgive himself.

"Because I know what you did. You think I don't but I do. I know it was you. I know it was all your doing. You think you're so special, that none of us knows what you did. You think you're better than everyone else. Well, not anymore, Faceguy. You've wiggled that little tail of yours around in front of me for long enough. Now, it's payback time." Murdock said this last to him in a whisper, as if speaking more to himself, than Face.

"Murdock," Face began, hoping he could somehow reach the friend he knew was somewhere inside this stranger. "I didn't. Whatever it is you think I did…I didn't. I swear…"

"DON'T YOU LIE TO ME!" Murdock roared as he backhanded Face as hard as he could. "Don't you ever lie to me again!" 

He stopped then and stared down at the man before him. Blood was running down his chin from a split lip. He felt himself harden at the sight and had to fight to keep himself from bending down to taste it. 

"Hannibal and B.A. may be willing to just look the other way, pretend none of it was your fault, but not me. You know what they did to me in that POW camp! Well, let's see how you like it." 

Face slowly turned his head back toward his friend to see him leering down at him. Murdock waited for Face to look at him before he began to remove his leather belt. He wanted Face to know what was coming. He wanted to see the fear in his friend's eyes.

Face was scared. He did not know what to do. He did not know what had made Murdock suddenly think he had betrayed him all those years ago or even what that betrayal was. Most of all, he did not know if he was going to live through this nightmare. And for once, he was not sure if he wanted to.

Murdock pulled his leather belt off and slowly wound it around his hand a few times. Face knew what was coming next. Murdock had been beaten almost daily in the prison camp. As the memories of some of the other things that had been done to the pilot returned, Face could not help the trembling that passed through this body. Lightning quick, Murdock brought his arm back and down, slamming the leather into Face's unprotected stomach.

Face could not stop the cry of shock and pain that leapt from his throat. An angry red welt was already rising from the blow. Murdock knelt down beside him and ran his hand over the mark.

"Twenty lashes, to start, I think," Murdock whispered. "And for every sound you make, another ten. Since the first one was just a warm-up, I'll let that scream pass."

Murdock stood up again and after pausing for a moment, brought his arm back and down. "One," he called out as the belt slammed into Face's naked torso. Again and again Murdock brought the belt down on the man he had once considered his best friend. The angry red welts quickly turned bloody as Murdock criss-crossed Face's body. 

"Eighteen," Murdock called out as he swung. Face was biting his lip to keep from crying out, the tears once again running freely down his face.

"Nineteen!" Again the belt came down, even harder than before.

"Twenty," Murdock whispered. But as he brought the belt down, he changed his angle in mid-stroke so that the tip of the belt hit Face on his left nipple, drawing blood. Face instantly cried out from the pain and shock then shook his head, no, as he realized what he had done.

"You almost made it, Faceman," Murdock laughed.

"No, Murdock, please…" Face began in a panicked voice.

"Shhh. Hush now, Faceman," Murdock said gently as he once again knelt down. 

Face flinched as Murdock brought his hand up to wipe away the other man's tears, but Murdock seemed to ignore it. Face began to tremble as Murdock gently stroked his cheek.

"Mu…Murdock…"

"Shhh," Murdock said again. "I tell you what. You do exactly what I tell you and we'll forget about those extra ten lashes I owe you. How's that sound, muchacho?"

Face simply nodded his head, afraid to speak.

"But," Murdock continued, "if you hesitate in the slightest, you WILL regret it. Understand?"

At the other man's nod, Murdock leaned forward until their faces were just inches apart. Slowly, he reached out and grabbed the back of his friend's head again. "Now listen very carefully, my friend. I am going to kiss you again and this time you are going to respond. But first, I want to hear you beg me for it."

Remembering Murdock's earlier words, Face did not hesitate. "Please, Murdock… I… I want… please… I want you to kiss me… please…" Quickly Murdock leaned forward and pressed his mouth to Face's. He groaned as he was met by the man's eager tongue.

I can do this… I can do this… I can do this… Face ran the words over and over in his mind as his tongue met Murdock's. Even as his body did as he bid, his heart cried out in anguish. How many times had he dreamed of kissing this man, only to have his dreams turned into a nightmare. 

After a moment, he once again felt Murdock's hand caress him through his pants. He began to tremble as his body was touched and fondled against his will. Murdock pulled back from the kiss then and Face could see that his friend's brown eyes were dark with arousal. Leaning back further still, he studied the man before him while continuing to caress him. 

"You have too many clothes on, Lieutenant," Murdock said as he reached down to retrieve the knife from where he had dropped it earlier.

Deftly, Murdock cut away Face's pants, then removed his underwear. He paused for a moment to take in the sight of his now completely naked friend. Slowly, he ran the tip of the knife over Face's thigh then up into his pubic hair. Face broke out into a sweat as the razor sharp knife skimmed lightly over his testicles and penis.

"Don't worry, Faceguy," Murdock chuckled as he dropped the knife back down onto the floor. "I don't plan on cutting it off just yet."

"Why don't you just kill me?" Face asked, his fear mounting steadily.

"Because that wouldn't be any fun, now would it?" Murdock replied. "Besides, I want you and I'm going to take you. And there's nothing you can do about it."

"Murdock, you don't want to do this. Think of what Hannibal's going to do when he finds out," Face said. He had to try and reach his friend before it was too late for both of them. Any hopes he had disappeared, however, when Murdock burst into laughter.

"Oh, Face. Hannibal knows you're here. He knows EXACTLY what I'm going to do to you. He won't stop it. Your team isn't going to come and save you this time, muchacho." Face shook his head, refusing to believe Murdock's words. But deep inside, he was not so sure. After all, Murdock could not have gotten him here, like this, on his own. 

Murdock watched as the shock played across his friend's features. Even as he shook his head in denial, Murdock saw that a small part of him thought it might just be true. With a smile, Murdock began to run his hands over the other man's body again. This time, though, there were no clothes in the way. Having Face beg for and then respond to his kiss had made him incredibly hard, and now he wanted to fully explore the body stretched out before him.

He ran his hands over Face's chest, ignoring the pain he caused as he touched the cuts and welts he had inflicted earlier. With deliberate slowness, he brought both hands down to Face's groin. He began to gently fondle the other man's penis and testicles. He was rewarded a few moments later, as Face began to get hard. Murdock chuckled deep in his throat as he thought about the shame and humiliation his friend was feeling. 

"And here I thought you didn't want this. You really are a slut, you know that." Murdock began to stroke him faster as his erection swelled and Face could not hold back a sob as Murdock's words hit home. 

A noise outside the room stopped Murdock in mid-stroke. Before he could stand up, the door burst inward and Hannibal and B.A. stormed into the room.

"Step away from him, Captain," Hannibal said calmly as he took in the scene around him. 

"NO! He has to pay, Colonel. He has to pay for what he did. He betrayed us all. He's the reason..." Murdock stopped in mid-sentence as Hannibal pointed a gun at him.

"NO!" Face screamed an instant before Hannibal fired, hitting Murdock squarely in the chest.

"Calm down, Lieutenant," Hannibal said to his frantically struggling friend. "It was just a tranquilizer dart. I didn't really shoot him. Calm down, kid."

"Ha...Hannibal..." Face stammered, desperate to believe, but wary just the same.

"B.A., get Murdock out of here, then get back as quick as you can," Hannibal said. "And bring back some clothes for Face."

"Got it Hannibal." B.A. reached down, gently picked up the unconscious pilot and carried him out of the room. Meanwhile, Hannibal began searching for the key to Face's restraints. After a quick search, he found the keys and cautiously bent down to release his friend. 

"Easy, Face," he murmured as the younger man tried to pull away. "You're safe now."

Face remained silent as Hannibal freed first his wrists then his ankles. When he was finished, Hannibal handed Face a blanket to cover himself with until B.A. could return. Only then did the younger man look his friend in the eye. The silence seemed to go on for an eternity before Face finally spoke.

"Why, Hannibal?" Face asked, his voice no more than a whisper. "Why?"

"It's a long story, kid," Hannibal began. "It seems this new doctor at the VA has been doing a little experiment on Murdock without anybody's knowledge."

"What kind of experiment?" Face asked, concern for his friend pushing away everything else. 

"He's been using hypnosis and drugs to alter Murdock's memories. The drugs were supposed to help make him more respondent to the hypnosis and more prone to act out violently," Hannibal explained.

"I'd say they worked pretty well," Face said, attempting to lighten the mood some. He did not want the Colonel to know how affected he really was. One basket case was about all the team could handle.

"Yeah," Hannibal replied. He knew Face was putting on a front but could not bring himself to call the younger man on it. He refused to think about what might have happened if he and B.A. had gotten there any later.

"So how did you find out what was going on?" Face prodded, needing something to keep his mind off of what had almost happened.

"Dr. Richter found out what was happening. He got in touch with me and B.A. and told us what had been going on," Hannibal explained as gently as he could. "He said this guy had managed to convince Murdock that you had actually HELPED the VC torture him and that you were the reason we were wanted for treason." 

"Murdock... he actually believed him?" Face could not keep the look of utter disbelief from his face.

"Face, you have to understand, this guy has been working on Murdock for months," Hannibal hastened to say.

Face grew silent then, trying to take in everything Hannibal had told him. Hannibal remained silent as well. He knew the Lieutenant needed time to digest what he had learned. He just hoped they would be able to find some way to salvage both men when this was all said and done. 

B.A. returned to find the two men lost in their own thoughts. He walked cautiously into the room, knowing Faceman was in bad shape. He hoped Hannibal had explained things to him some while he was gone. For all Murdock's craziness, he knew the pilot cared for his teammates tremendously. It was going to kill Murdock when he found out what he did. 

"I brought you some clothes, Faceman," B.A. said quietly as he laid the clothing on the bed.

"Thanks, B.A." Face replied. He could not stop the grimace of pain as he leaned forward to retrieve the clothing. 

"Did you get Murdock squared away, Sergeant?" Hannibal asked.

"Yeah, Hannibal," B.A. replied. "He was still out cold, but I made sure to secure him anyway, just in case."

"Good work, B.A. Let's step outside for a minute while Face gets dressed." Hannibal said.

"We'll be right outside, Faceman," B.A. said gently as he and the Colonel turned to leave.

"Thanks, guys," Face whispered in both relief and gratitude. 

The ride back to the house the team was using was a silent one. Face was lost in his own world and the other two men did not know how to reach out and bring him back to theirs. A little while later they pulled up in front of the large beach house they were 'borrowing'. Face had scammed the place for them a few weeks ago. It seemed the owners were away for three months touring Europe. One of the things Face liked most about the place was the five large bedrooms it contained. For once, they could each have their own   
room instead of doubling up. 

"Where...where is he?" Face asked as they approached the door.

"I put him upstairs in his room, man," B.A. answered. "Don't worry, Faceman, he ain't goin' nowhere. Not unless Crazyman done turned into Houdini on us."

"Good work, Sergeant," Hannibal replied as they entered the house. "I'd better go see how he's doing."

"You all right, Face?" B.A. asked, more than a little worried about his friend.

"Yeah, B.A., I'm all right," Face replied. "I just...I just hope Murdock is okay." 

Hannibal came back downstairs then. He had heard Face's words and they went a long way toward easing the knot in his stomach. Maybe his team really could get through this nightmare.

"How is he, Hannibal?" B.A. asked.

"Out cold."

"Still?" Face questioned.

"We gave him a pretty big dose of tranquilizers. He may be out for a while, and we don't know how they might react with the drugs already in his system," Hannibal said. As it turned out it was over 36 hours before Murdock regained consciousness. It was one of the longest 36 hours the team had ever spent.

As he slowly awoke, the first thing Murdock realized was that he was in a bed with no recollection of how he got there. The second thing he realized was that he happened to be tied to this particular bed. He tried in vain to get the room into focus and remember what he had been doing that could have possibly led to this when Hannibal's voice startled him.

"Easy, Captain. You're safe," the Colonel said.

"Colonel? Where am I?" Murdock asked.

"At the beach house."

"The beach house?" Murdock was really confused now. "Then why am I tied down? Did somebody find us here? Are we captured? What's going on, Hannibal?"

"Murdock, how much do you remember about the last few days?" Hannibal asked. Murdock thought back and tried to recall the last few days, but found he could not. 

"Not a lot, Colonel," Murdock replied. "The last thing I can really remember is Faceman springing me from the VA."

"That was over a week ago, Captain," Hannibal informed him.

"I figured as much from the look on your face," Murdock said, pausing to take a deep breath before continuing. "Colonel, why am I in restraints?" 

Hannibal looked at his pilot for a moment, then began to tell him what he knew. He started by telling Murdock about the experiment the doctor at the VA had been running on him. How the man had altered Murdock's memories and how he had drugged Murdock to make him prone to violence. Murdock listened,   
too stunned to interrupt, as Hannibal told him of how they had found him... and Face. He made sure to tell him how Face had panicked when Hannibal shot Murdock with the tranquilizer dart, thinking it was a bullet. His tale finished, Hannibal sat back and waited for the pilot to respond.

Unwilling to meet his Colonel's eyes, Murdock looked away. His mind was reeling from everything Hannibal had told him, yet there were still questions. Gathering up his courage, Murdock turned to face his commanding officer. Hannibal could see the pain in the other man's eyes as he looked at him.

"What...what did I do to him, Hannibal?" Murdock whispered.

"I don't know, Captain," Hannibal replied. "Face is the only one who knows that now."

"Can I... can I... see him, Colonel?" Murdock asked hesitantly.

Hannibal seemed to contemplate this for a moment before replying. "Let me go talk to him. I'll see what I can do."

"Yes, sir," Murdock replied as Hannibal walked toward the door. "Colonel, do you think you could get me out of these things?"

"Soon, Captain. I promise. Let me go talk to Face first, then we'll get you out of those." Hannibal hated to leave the pilot tied down, but he wanted to talk to Face before he released him.

"I understand, Colonel."

Hannibal closed the door behind him and quickly went downstairs to find the others. He found them in the living room flipping through the cable channels. They looked up when he came into the room and both knew that Murdock had regained consciousness.

"He's awake," Face stated flatly.

Hannibal sat down on the sofa and told the two men of Murdock's awakening and of his memory loss. He told them that he had explained everything that he knew to the pilot. He also told them that he had left the man restrained and that he seemed to understand why.

"He wants to see you, Face," Hannibal said gently. "He doesn't know what he did, only that he hurt you somehow. He wants to know what really happened. You're the only one that can tell him that now."

Face sat for a minute, contemplating Hannibal's words. Gathering up his courage, he took a deep breath and stood. He looked at his two friends and ran a hand through his hair nervously before he walked over to where the key to Murdock's restraints hung. With a hand that he was amazingly steady, he reached out and took the key.

"Why don't you guys wait down here," Face said without turning to look at them. He stood where he was for a moment, then steeled himself and headed up the stairs to the Captain's room. His heart was pounding and his stomach was doing flips as he approached Murdock's door. He paused outside it to compose himself, then slowly opened the door and walked inside. 

Murdock had been looking toward the window, but turned his head quickly when the door opened. He was shocked when he saw it was Face, he had expected it to be Hannibal. Face stood just inside the door and looked at his friend tied down on his bed. His instincts were screaming at him to run, but he stood his ground and refused to give in.

"How...how ya' doin', Faceman?" Murdock asked quietly. He had known Face for years and could read his body language quite well. He could tell the battle that was waging inside his friend. It felt like a vice was squeezing his heart as he recognized the thing he was seeing in his best friend's eyes was fear. Fear of him.

"I'm okay, Murdock," Face replied quietly as he moved inside the room slightly and closed the door. "You had us worried for a little bit there. How are you feeling?"

"I've... I've been better," Murdock answered, indicating the restraints holding him prisoner. 

"Here," Face said and immediately moved toward the bed, "let's get you out of these things."

"Are you... are you sure... sure you wanna do that, Faceman?" 

Face looked down at his friend and blue eyes locked with brown. His heart was going like a jackhammer in his chest, but he did not look away. After what seemed like forever, the corners of Face's mouth turned up into a small smile. 

"I'm sure, Murdock." Face carefully reached down and freed first one of Murdock's hands then the other. Finally freed, Murdock rubbed his sore wrists and sat up in the bed. Face moved to sit in the bedside chair that Hannibal had occupied just a little while ago. 

"So," Face began hesitantly, "Hannibal says you don't remember anything."

Murdock shook his head and looked toward the window again, afraid to meet his friend's eyes. "He said I hurt you, Faceman. Did I?"

"Yes," Face replied simply. Lying would serve no purpose here. Besides, he had never been able to lie to Murdock. 

"I'm so sorry, Face. I... I would never... never hurt you. You're my best friend. I... I love you," Murdock stammered, pain twisting his insides into knots. 

Face's heart ached. He wanted to scream and rage for what had been taken from him, what had been taken from them, but he knew that would not do Murdock any good. So, instead, he locked it away and concentrated on helping the man before him.

"Shhh. Hush now, Murdock. It's over," he crooned.

"Is it? Is it really?" Murdock turned to look at Face. "I don't think it is, Face."

"Why do you say that?" Face asked, his apprehension building even as he fought to stay calm.

"Because if it was, you wouldn't look at me like that. You wouldn't look at me like you were afraid of me," Murdock stated softly. "What did I do to you, Face?"

Face looked away then, unable to bring himself to answer the pilot's question.

"Please, Face. I gotta know. I gotta know what it is that I did that took away what used to be in your eyes when you looked at me and replaced it with... with what's there now." Face turned back toward his friend then, his eyes filled with tears that threatened to run over.

"I'm sorry, Murdock. I can't. Not yet. Please... please don't make me," Face pleaded. He jumped up from the chair and hurried out of the room leaving Murdock stunned and alone. Hannibal and B.A. called his name as he ran down the stairs and out of the house, but he ignored them both. He needed to get away before he broke down completely. 

"B.A., follow Face," Hannibal said before he turned and raced up the stairs to Murdock's room. 

B.A. quickly did as the Colonel ordered. Luckily, Face was leaving a trail a blind man could follow. B.A. decided to trail Face to make sure he stayed out of trouble, but give him as much space as he could. He did not know what had happened between Face and Murdock and he was not sure he wanted to. But he knew his friend was hurting and needed some time alone to get himself together. B.A.'s jaw clenched as he thought about the man responsible for all of this. He could not wait until they found the doctor. The man was going to need a doctor of his own by the time B.A. got through with him.

While B.A. was dogging Face, Hannibal hurried up the stairs to Murdock's room. The stunned pilot had not moved. He was too shocked by Face's outburst. Hannibal had told him he had hurt Face, but Murdock now suspected that he had done more to his friend than just give him a few bruises. 

Hannibal entered Murdock's room cautiously. "Captain," he called softly from the doorway. "What happened?"

"I don't know, sir." Murdock replied as Hannibal moved into the room. He walked forward and sat down on the edge of the bed next to the pilot. "I asked him what I had done and he said he couldn't tell me. He pleaded with me not to make him, then he ran out of the room. My God, Colonel, what did I do to him?"

Hannibal was silent. He had been afraid of something like this. He just wished he had some answers for the Captain. "I wish I knew, Murdock," he finally answered. "I think, though, that Face may need some time before he'll be able to tell you anything. Do you think you can give him some time, Captain?"

"After seeing the look on his face, Colonel, the entire VC army couldn't make me ask him again." Murdock replied with a shudder. "Is he downstairs now? I'd like to talk to him..." Murdock's voice trailed off at the look on Hannibal's face.

"He ran out of the house. Didn't even pause when we called after him," Hannibal said. He noted the alarmed look on Murdock's face and quickly went on to add that he had B.A. out following him. Murdock relaxed a little at this, but he still looked worried. 

B.A. had a moment of panic when Face ran toward the surf, fearing his distraught friend might keep going. But Face stopped just at the water line and sat down heavily on the wet sand. He seemed oblivious to the cool water rushing over his legs and back out to sea. 

He sat there, just staring out at the ocean, letting his pain wash over him with each caress of the tide. He had been friends with Murdock for years. Not too long ago, those feelings of friendship had turned to something more for Face. In all the years he had known Murdock, he had never heard him speak of another man in a sexual way, so Face kept his feelings to himself. He was content to just be beside the other man. Face hung his head and let the tears that had threatened before run unchecked down his face. He cried for himself, for Murdock, and for everything that might have been.

His tears spent, Face stood up from the sand and turned to where B.A. sat watching. "Come on, B.A.," he said. "We'd better get back before Hannibal comes looking for us." 

When Face and B.A. returned, they found Hannibal and Murdock waiting downstairs for them. When Face walked in, Murdock jumped quickly from the couch and moved toward his friend. Face's involuntary step backward stopped him in his tracks. The look of fear that flashed through his friend's eyes was more than Murdock could stand. He turned and looked at Hannibal as his eyes filled with tears.

"I... I think I'd like to go back to the VA, Colonel." Murdock whispered.

They took Murdock back to the VA that night. Richter was waiting for them when they arrived. He gently escorted his patient inside and turned back to the team. As the team turned to leave, Richter reached out and grabbed Face's arm. He pressed a card into his hand. "If you ever want to talk, Lieutenant," he said, then turned and walked back into the hospital.

The ride back to the beach house was a silent one. Hannibal and B.A. were again at a loss for what to do for their friends. All Face kept seeing in his head was the look of hurt on his friend's face when he had backed away from him. He silently berated himself for the pain he had caused. Murdock had enough to deal with without Face adding to it. He wished he could do something to make it all just go away. Hannibal's voice softly calling his name brought him back to reality as the van pulled up at their temporary home.

Dr. Richter led Murdock back to his room. The subdued pilot entered and dropped down on his bed. Dr. Richter closed the door behind them and sat in the chair beside the bed. He waited patiently for Murdock to begin.

"He's afraid of me now," Murdock said softly. "My best friend is afraid of me, and I don't even know why." Murdock could not hold back the sobs any longer. His body shook as the tears ran freely down his face. Richter reached out and put a comforting hand on the pilot's arm. Murdock clutched it like a lifeline. 

Finally, Murdock's emotions spent for the time being, he wiped the tears from his face and sat up. Richter sat back in his chair again and waited for his patient and friend to continue. Slowly, Murdock told the doctor everything he knew about what had happened. Richter listened carefully as Murdock finished speaking. He was appalled at what had been done to this man and his friend, but he did not let anything other than his detached doctor persona show.

"Murdock," Dr. Richter began, "first of all I want to apologize." Murdock started to interrupt, but Richter held up his hand and continued. "You are my friend, but you are also my patient. You are under my care and ultimately, you are my responsibility. I failed you and I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, Doc," Murdock said sincerely.

"Maybe, maybe not, but the fact remains that I share some of the responsibility for this." Richter paused for a moment before continuing. "Now, what you and your friend need is rest. You've both been under a tremendous amount of stress."

"But what if he hates me now, Doc?" Murdock could handle just about anything, except Face hating him.

"I don't think you have to worry about that, Murdock." 

"Doc, you didn't see the look on his face."

"No, but I saw the look on his face when they brought you here. He was very concerned about you, my friend. And people don't normally worry about people they hate," the doctor reasoned.

"You... you really think so, Doc?" Murdock asked, hoping Dr. Richter was right, that he had not lost his best friend.

"Yes, I do. Give him some time, Murdock. I gave him my card, with any luck, he'll call me. Do you mind if I discuss what we've talked about here with him?" the doctor asked.

"You can tell Faceman anything you want, Doc. I don't mind," Murdock assured him. 

"Alright," Richter said as he got up to leave. "Now get some sleep, Captain. That's an order."

"Yes, sir," Murdock replied as he gave the doctor a salute. Murdock went to sleep vowing to give his friend all the time he needed and to help him any way he could.

Back at the beach house, the three friends went inside. Face immediately headed upstairs to his room, saying he was tired and wanted to get some rest. Hannibal and B.A. bid him good night and watched as he disappeared behind his bedroom door. 

"Hannibal..." B.A. began.

"I know, Sergeant. Let's just give him some time." B.A. nodded at Hannibal's words. He wished there was more he could do. He hated the impotence he felt in the face of his friends' pain. 

Hannibal was drinking coffee while B.A. tinkered with a hand held radio when they heard a scream from upstairs. The two men were on their feet in an instant and racing for the stairs. Hannibal threw open the door to Face's room and found him in the throes of a nightmare. He shouted the man's name and watched as his friend instantly came awake. He was covered in sweat and tangled in the blankets. Hannibal and B.A. quickly walked over to the bed and sat on the sides of it.

"It's okay, Faceman," B.A. said soothingly. "It was just a dream. You're safe now."

"Go back to sleep, kid," Hannibal said. "And Face, it might be a good idea if you called Richter in the morning. The man's done wonders for Murdock, maybe he can help."

"You may be right, Colonel," Face said as he closed his eyes again. Hannibal and B.A. left the room as quietly as possible. Hannibal began to shut the door but B.A. stopped him. The colonel looked questioningly at his friend.

"Leave it open, so we can check on him," B.A. replied to the silent question. Hannibal nodded. He, too, would feel better if he could look in on the young man.

At the VA, Murdock was not fairing much better. He came awake with a start, visions of a bound and gagged Face running through his head. He knew he would not be getting back to sleep any time soon, so he got up. Thinking a movie might help him relax, he began to look through his video collection. He stopped as he noticed an unmarked tape stuck in between his Woody Woodpecker tapes. 

Carefully, he pulled the video from its slot. He examined it, turning it over in his hands, but there were no markings on it at all. His curiosity peaked, he pushed it into the VCR and hit play, then sat back on the bed to watch. He was beginning to think the tape was blank when the scene suddenly changed. The blood drained from his face as he watched himself dump an unconscious Face on a bed. 

He watched as on the screen he secured the man's wrists and ankles to the bed, then gagged him with a cloth. He saw himself remove a long knife from his belt and place that and the restraint keys in the drawer of the nightstand. He watched as he then stuck something under Face's nose, causing the man to come awake. 

Murdock heard himself say. He watched as he pulled out the knife and removed Face's shirt with it. He shook his head 'no' as he watched himself lean down and lick Face's blood of his chest. And he watched, horrified, as Face shouted 'no' while Murdock fondled him. 

By the time the video was finished, Murdock was rocking back and forth on his bed, his arms wrapped around his stomach. Wave after wave of pain coursed through him. The knowledge that he had tortured and molested his best friend was eating him alive. The orderly making rounds took one look at Murdock and ran to get Dr. Richter.

A short while later, Richter arrived and rushed into Murdock's room. "Murdock," he called. Murdock looked up at his voice, tears coursing down his face. Richter moved closer and sat down on the edge of the bed. "What happened, Captain?"

"Somebody left me a video," Murdock answered as he continued to rock.

"A video?" Richter asked, confused.

"Yeah."

"A video of what, Murdock?"

"Of me and Face."

"You and Face?" Richter could not believe what he was hearing. "Somebody left a video in your room of what happened between you and Face?"

"Y... y... yes..." Murdock stammered. 

"Murdock, I'm going to give you a mild sedative, all right?" Richter asked.

The captain just kept rocking as Dr. Richter prepared to give him the injection. As the sedative took effect, Richter gently stretched the pilot out on the bed. He then went to the VCR and rewound the tape inside. Hoping that Murdock had been dreaming, Richter pressed play on the VCR. His hopes were dashed as an image of Murdock and Face filled the screen. The doctor quickly hit the stop button and removed the tape from the VCR. Taking the tape, he ordered the nurse to keep a constant watch on his patient and to notify him the moment he awoke. The nurse nodded and Richter headed for his office. He needed to view the tape and he needed privacy for that. He had a feeling he was not going to like what he saw.

In the privacy of his office, Richter watched the tape. He was appalled by what he witnessed and could understand why Murdock's friend would have a hard time recounting the details for him. The doctor hesitated a moment, then picked up the phone. He needed to contact Murdock's friends. Whoever had put this tape in Murdock's room was still out there and he needed their help to protect the pilot. 

Hannibal answered the phone on the second ring. Richter quickly recounted how Murdock found the videotape and that it had been necessary to sedate him. He told Hannibal the video's contents, however, he refused to go into any detail, not wanting to betray either man. Hannibal felt the blood drain from his face as Richter spoke. When the doctor had finished, Hannibal told him they would be there right away. 

Hanging up the phone, he turned to B.A. He told the big man what the doctor had said and together, the two men went upstairs to tell Face. As gently as he could, Hannibal told Face of Richter's phone call. Face felt like he'd been punched in the stomach. All he could think of was Murdock. He jumped up from the bed and got dressed as fast as he could. B.A. was waiting outside with the van when Face and Hannibal came hurrying out. 

B.A. ran four red lights before they finally came to a screeching halt in front of the VA. Face was out of the van before it came to a stop and running inside. Richter met him at the door. The look of concern on the man's face told Richter that he had not been wrong earlier. No matter how much he may have underestimated the situation, he knew he was not wrong about one thing. The man in front of him cared very deeply for Murdock, and Richter doubted if anything could ever change that.

"Where is he?" Face asked after bursting through the doors.

"He's still sedated." Richter replied. A moment later, Hannibal and B.A. walked in. Richter explained that Murdock was still sedated and that a nurse was sitting with the Captain. 

"Can we see him?" Face asked, nervously.

"Come on," Richter answered. He led the three men to Murdock's room and dismissed the nurse. The three friends gathered around their comrade's bed. "Why don't you and B.A. wait here, Hannibal, in case he wakes up? I'd like to talk to Face for a moment. If that's alright with you."

"Sure, doc," Face replied. He looked at Murdock again then followed Richter out of the room and down the hall to his office. Once inside, Richter closed the door behind them and motioned for Face to sit down. Sighing, Face did as the doctor wanted. He had a good idea what the doctor wanted and figured he might as well get it over with so he could get back to Murdock.

"I talked with Murdock before this incident," Richter began. "He gave me permission to speak with you about the things that he and I talked about."

"All right," Face said. 

"I watched the video tape, Face, so I know everything that happened." Face just nodded at this so Richter continued. "I admit, a bit more went on than I had anticipated. I can see why Murdock was so thrown by it."

Again Face only nodded his understanding. "The thing Murdock is most afraid of right now, Face, is losing your friendship. He's afraid you're going to hate him. I tried to reassure him, but I'm afraid after seeing that video tape, he may not believe me."

"Murdock is my friend, doctor," Face stated evenly. "He has been my friend for years and there is NOTHING that will EVER make me stop being his friend."

"I'm glad you feel that way. For the record, I could tell that by the concern you showed for him. But I'm afraid it's going to take some convincing to make Murdock believe that." Face put his head in his hands for a minute. All of a sudden he felt terribly old. Taking a deep breath, he straightened up and looked at Richter. 

"Yeah. Look, I need to run a little errand, doc. If Murdock wakes up before I get back, tell him I'll be back soon," Face said as he stood up to leave. 

Outside, Face contemplated taking the van, but decided he would rather walk. Where he was going was not far and he thought the fresh air might help to clear his head a little.

Hannibal was not happy when Richter told him that Face had left , but he calmed down when the man assured him that Face was not upset and had promised to be back soon. Their conversation was interrupted though, as Murdock started to rouse. 

At first, Murdock was confused when he saw his friends and his doctor standing over him. As wakefulness came, so did memory and he felt a fresh wave of pain wash over him. He noticed that Face was not among those waiting by his bed and his heart sank. He had hoped Richter was right about Face not hating him, but he knew that there was no chance of that now. Smiling weakly, Murdock looked up into the faces of his worried friends. 

"How are you feeling, Captain?" Hannibal asked, the thought that this question was getting asked way too often running through his head.

"I've been better, Colonel. Faceman decide to sit this one out?" Murdock could not hide the pain in his voice at the question.

"He was here, Murdock," B.A. answered, wanting desperately to relieve his friend's suffering.

"He had to run out for a minute, but he said he's be back soon," Richter continued. 

Right then the door to Murdock's room opened softly and Face stepped slowly into view. He let out a relieved breath when he saw that Murdock was awake. 

"How...how ya' doing, Murdock?" Face asked as he approached his friend's side and knelt. Hannibal and B.A. both took a step back, allowing Face to be next to Murdock.

"I... I didn't think... think you'd be back..." Murdock stammered as tears filled his eyes.

"Didn't Richter tell you I'd be back?" Face prompted carefully.

"Yeah... but... I thought..."

"Murdock," Face interrupted. "I told Richter and now I'm going to tell you. You are my friend. You have been my friend for more years than I like to count. And nothing will EVER make me stop being your friend."

"Face... you don't have to lie." Murdock said as he made a point of looking at anything but his friend.

"Why do you think I'm lying?" Face asked. He laid his hand tenderly upon his friend's arm. Murdock jumped at the touch, expecting such gentleness.

"Because I know what I did to you. I know and there's no way that you could..."

"Murdock," Face interrupted again. "Look at me." 

Murdock hesitated, terrified of what he would see if he looked in his friend's eyes. Slowly, Face reached out and turned Murdock's head toward his. 

"I figured you wouldn't believe me, you know. That's why I had to go out."

Murdock looked bewildered at first, then looked down as Face pushed a CD into his hand.

"What's this?" Murdock asked, confused.

"Just play number 6, then have one of the guys come and get me. I'll be in the lounge." With that, Face stood back up and walked out of the room. Murdock looked up at the others, but they looked just as confused as he was. 

"Why don't you play the CD," Richter suggested.

"Would you like us to wait outside, Captain?" Hannibal asked.

"No, Colonel," Murdock replied as he got to his rather unsteady feet. He stood for a moment, letting the light-headedness pass then moved to the CD player. He keyed up the CD to track number 6 then moved back to the bed to listen. Tears began to run down the pilot's face again as he listened to the words of the song his friend had asked him to play.

Put your head on my shoulder  
No need to worry 'bout a thing  
I'll be the cure for your loneliness  
I'll make you feel like you're whole again  
And you can always count on me wherever I may be  
When this world's got you feelin' blue  
Call on me and I'll run to you  
My friend

On my wings we both can fly  
Cause there's no burden big enough  
And when you're hurtin' baby so am I and we'll both cry  
There's nothing stronger than our love  
And you can always count on me, wherever I may be  
Oh I'm gonna find the way  
To a better day  
My friend

So let me be the one to save ya  
Cause it's the least that I can do  
And you don't have to return the favor  
Cause I promise you  
Oh we're gonna make it through  
My friend

Put your head on my shoulder  
No need to worry bout a thing  
If you need me I'll be there in a hurry  
Call on me, time and time again  
Cause you're my friend

As the song ended, Murdock looked at his friends. They met the pilot's gaze, but no one spoke as they tried to rein in their emotions. The song had said a lot, and not just to Murdock.

"Don't you think you should go see Face now, Captain?" Hannibal finally managed.

"I can't, Colonel," Murdock replied miserably. "I can't face him now."

"Why not?" Richter asked.

"Because he doesn't know."

"Doesn't know what, Murdock?" Hannibal tried to his voice low, but his apprehension was growing.

"How I feel."

"So why don't you tell him?" Richter asked. Murdock looked at his doctor as if he had grown a third eye.

"Yeah, right, doc," Murdock replied sarcastically. "I'll just run right down and tell my best friend that while I was... while I was raping him, I was aroused by it."

"That was just that doctor messin' with your head, Crazyman," B.A. said reassuringly.

"No, big guy, it wasn't," Murdock said looking down at the floor. "What I did to Face was his doing, but my reaction to it, that was me."

"I disagree," Richter said. "Oh, I think part of it was you. Part of it was your reaction to being with a person you desire very much, no matter how unwilling a participant he was. But the rest, no." Hannibal and B.A. were shocked by the doctor's revelations, but did not interrupt.

"How can you be so sure, doc?" Murdock asked.

"Tell me, Murdock, does the thought of Face in pain excite you?" Richter began.

"NO!"

"How about the thought of him being bound and gagged against his will?"

"No."

"How about the thought of beating him bloody?"

"NO!" Murdock screamed his denial and leapt up from the bed. His hands were balled into fists as he advanced on Richter. Hannibal and B.A. both put a restraining hand on the pilot. Gently, they sat him back down on his bed.

Outside Murdock's room, Face had waited as long as he could stand before returning. The shout of 'no' that he heard through the door made his heart sink. Steeling himself, he walked to Murdock's door and opened it.

"What's going on?" he asked as he stepped inside.

"Why don't we leave these two alone?" Richter suggested. Hannibal hesitated a moment, then nodded, and he and B.A. followed the doctor out of the room.

Face looked at his friend for a moment then walked over and sat down on the bed beside him. "Didn't you like the song, Murdock?" he asked.

"I loved it, Faceguy."

"But..." Face prompted sensing there was more.

"There's stuff you don't know, " Murdock continued.

"So enlighten me," Face prompted.

"I don't want to."

"Why?" Face prodded gently.

"Because you'll hate me or be disgusted with me or..."

"Murdock," Face interrupted him yet again. He laid his hand on Murdock's arm before continuing. "I thought I already told you this. There is nothing that will make me stop being your friend."

"You're wrong," Murdock said miserably.

"Then prove it." 

Murdock looked up at his friend. He knew then that he would have to tell him, if for no other reason than so Face would know the kind of man he was, know him for the sick son-of-a-bitch that he was.

"When I was... raping you," Murdock began haltingly, "I was HARD, Face. Harder... harder than I've ever been before."

"Murdock, that was the doctor's influence. That wasn't you," Face countered.

"Maybe... maybe some of it," Murdock conceded, "but not all of it, Face. I... I wanted you. I... I have for awhile now. And if Hannibal and B.A. hadn't gotten there when they did, I would have raped you." 

Murdock began to sob then and Face again felt the rage build up inside him for what had been done to this gentle man. Just as quick as those feeling rose up, Face pushed them back down. Murdock needed him now. Reaching over, he pulled the sobbing pilot into his arms. Murdock resisted at first, but Face refused to let go and soon he gave in.

Face just held him in his arms. He whispered reassuringly to him and rubbed gentle circles on his back, trying to sooth him. He hated what all of this was doing to Murdock. He could handle what had been done to him, but seeing Murdock torn up like this was killing him.

"Murdock," Face called softly after the worst of the sobs had stopped. 

The pilot tried to pull away from him, but Face just tightened his grip and refused to let go. After a moment, Face released Murdock enough so that the two men could look at each other. Murdock leaned back and looked into the eyes of his best friend. He was both confused and a little afraid by what he saw. 

Slowly, so as not to spook the other man, Face brought his lips to Murdock's. The kiss was almost chaste, as Murdock was too stunned by the action to respond. That was fine with Face, though. The chaste kiss was about as far as could bring himself to go right now. He wanted his friend, and he was elated that Murdock felt the same way. But he was in no way ready for a physical relationship. He doubted if the pilot was, either. Face pulled back from the kiss as slowly as he had begun it. Murdock was staring at him   
wide-eyed and Face began to grow concerned.

"Murdock?" Face queried as he finally released the pilot.

"You didn't have to do that, Faceman," Murdock said slowly. His mind was reeling. Of all the things he had never expected to happen, Face kissing him was at the top of the list.

"No, I didn't. I wanted to." Face replied.

"Why?" Murdock asked, uncomprehending. "Why would you want to do that?"

"I... I have... feelings... for you, Murdock," Face began as best as he could. "I know we've been friends for years, but somewhere along the way, those feelings of friendship started to change for me."

"Change?" Murdock questioned, his mind unable to grasp what his friend was trying to tell him.

"Yeah. I mean, we're still friends. And we will ALWAYS be friends, but..." Face trailed off, having trouble finding just the right words to use with the shaken pilot.

"But...?"

"But, I want more. I just didn't think you'd be interested and I wouldn't risk your friendship over something as trivial as sex. You mean more to me than that." Face finished. He hoped Murdock understood what he was trying desperately to tell him.

"Face," Murdock said. The look on his face was one of total confusion. "Are you trying to tell me you're in love with me?"

"Yes. I guess I am."

"No. No. No. No. No," Murdock wailed. He frantically shook his head in denial, and began rocking back and forth again. Face felt as if he had been kicked in the stomach. He eyes filled with tears at Murdock's reaction to his revelation. Face placed a hand carefully on Murdock's back and then pulled the man into his arms once more.

"It's okay, Murdock. It's okay. Just forget I said anything. Please... please... just forget I said anything," Face pleaded. He knew it would kill him if he lost Murdock now. 

"I can't, Faceman," Murdock said as he pulled back from his friend's embrace. Face let him go this time. "I can't. I... h... hurt... you. I hurt you and you still sit there... and... and t... tell me that... that you... l... l... love me..."

"You didn't hurt me, Murdock," Face said quietly but firmly. "That doctor that messed with your head, hurt me. The bastard just used you to do it."

"Face..." Murdock began, but Face cut him off.

"Hush now, Murdock. I think we've said more than enough for one day." Murdock nodded his head in agreement. His head was pounding and he felt like he had not slept in days. "Now, do you want to come back to the beach house with us, or would you like to stay here with Dr. Richter for a little while?"

"I think I'd like to stay here. Just for a bit." 

"Alright. I'll go let Hannibal and B.A. know," Face said as he stood up. "One of us will be staying here with you around the clock until we catch this guy."

"Th... thanks, Faceman," Murdock replied as he stretched out on his bed. 

All of a sudden, Murdock was having the hardest time keeping his eyes open. Face stood at the door and looked at his friend, and hopefully lover, for a moment before heading out to talk to the others. He was going to make sure one of the team was with Murdock constantly. He was not going to let the man who did this get his hands on Murdock again.

Face walked quickly down the corridor to Dr. Richter's office. He was uncomfortable leaving Murdock alone for any length of time with the man who did this still at large. Hannibal and B.A. jumped when Face walked in. Neither man did a very good job of hiding his concern. Face felt his throat tighten at the worry his friends were showing. He knew they were as concerned for him as they were for Murdock.

Clearing his throat, Face explained that he had left Murdock asleep in his room. He told them that he and Murdock had talked and that Murdock wanted to remain at the VA for awhile. He also told Hannibal that he wanted at least one of them to stay with Murdock at all times. Hannibal agreed and Richter said he would make the necessary arrangements. They decided that Hannibal would stay with Murdock tonight and B.A. would take over in the morning. Face would take his turn tomorrow evening. Even though Face wanted to be with Murdock right now, he knew the Captain needed some time to think about what he had told him.

Hannibal entered Murdock's room as quietly as he could, trying hard not to disturb the sleeping man. Sitting in the chair beside the bed, he rested his hand on his gun and watched his friend sleep. Hannibal felt his eyes growing tired as he watched Murdock. He decided to lock the door as a precaution, then sat back in the chair to rest. Before long he, too, was sound asleep. 

When it was decided that Hannibal would take the first shift with Murdock, he told Face and B.A. to go back to the beach house and rest. Pulling B.A. aside, Hannibal told him to keep an eye on Face. The Colonel did not want any of his men left on their own right now. 

To Hannibal's surprise, the pilot slept through the entire night. Murdock awoke as B.A. was arriving to relieve Hannibal. Hannibal sat up stiffly and stretched as Murdock unlocked the door for B.A. B.A. was happy to see his friend up and even happier to see that some of the life had returned to the man's eyes. 

As Hannibal prepared to leave, Dr. Richter came in followed by two orderlies carrying food trays. "I thought it might be best if you took your meals in here for the time being, Captain," Dr. Richter informed his patient.

"Thanks, Doc," Murdock replied. He had not wanted to go to the open cafeteria. "Is Face here?"

"Yes, Murdock, he's waiting for Hannibal by the front desk," Richter answered.

"Oh," Murdock said, disappointed.

"He said to tell you that he'll see you tonight," Richter said. "He's just trying to give you some space right now, to think about everything he said. Just wait, Captain, you have the whole night to spend with him tonight."

"Yeah, that's right. I've got the whole night to spend with Face," Murdock said, happily. His smile seemed to vanish as quickly as it had come and a panicked look came into his eyes. "Colonel, you need to call here a couple times tonight. Just to make sure Face is okay. I mean, he may not be up to spending a whole night locked in here with me. I mean after everything I did..."

"You don't know what you talkin' about, fool," B.A. broke in. "He liked to drive me crazy last night worryin' about you. He fussed and fretted all night long. At least if he's here, he can get some sleep."

"He was worried about me?" Murdock asked as if he did not believe it.

"Yeah, fool! He paced the floor for over an hour. I thought he was gonna wear a grove in it." Murdock smiled at B.A.'s description of Face. Just to hear that his friend had been worried about him made his hopes soar. Maybe there was a chance for them after all.

Hannibal bid Murdock and B.A. goodbye, making B.A. promise to check in at lunchtime, then he and Richter went in search of Face. They found him right where Richter had said he was. It seemed that Face also recognized the dangers and was taking no chances. Hannibal was glad of that. It would make his job much easier if he did not have to worry about Face doing something stupid. 

"How was he?" Face asked when the two men approached. 

"Just fine, Lieutenant," Hannibal replied. "He slept the whole night through. He and B.A. are having breakfast now."

Face let out the breath he was holding. He had worried about Murdock all night. The only things that had kept him from returning to the hospital was his desire to give Murdock some time to think and the fact that Hannibal was with him. Face knew that no one was going to get to Murdock without going through Hannibal first. The fact that Hannibal, and B.A., were armed made that an even more improbable event.

After assuring Richter that the two men would be back that evening for the shift change, Hannibal and Face left the VA. Since it was a nice day outside, Face had brought the 'Vette. He and B.A. decided to park the van in the lot, in case who ever was here needed it. That left the 'Vette.

"Are you tired, Colonel?" Face asked as they pulled out.

"Not really. I slept in the chair most of the night. How about you?"

"Well, I didn't get much sleep, but I'm not really tired." Face replied. "When's the last time you ate something?"

"I don't know. Yesterday some time I guess." Hannibal answered. The mention of food making his stomach growl.

"Let's get you something to eat then we can try to come up with a plan," Face said as he turned the car around.

"A plan, Lieutenant?" Hannibal questioned.

"I want the son-of-a-bitch that did this, Hannibal. He's not getting away with... with what he did to Murdock." Face replied.

"No, Face, he's not getting away with what he did to ANY of us. Let's get some breakfast, Lieutenant. We have a plan to hatch."

By the time Hannibal and Face returned to the VA to relieve B.A., they had the beginnings of their plan in order. Their first stop was to Richter. They had called him earlier and he had agreed to get together whatever information he could find on Dr. Jacobs, the man responsible for everything. 

Richter met the two men as they walked in the VA. He handed Hannibal the folder he had put together on the doctor. "It's everything I could find on him, Colonel Smith."

"Thanks, Doc. We appreciate it," Hannibal replied. "How's Murdock doing?" 

"Pretty good. We had a session this afternoon and he was a little agitated afterwards, but that's to be expected. He seemed to calm down fairly quickly, though." Richter finished filling the Colonel in as they walked to Murdock's room. As they approached the door, Face stopped.

"What's wrong, Lieutenant?" Hannibal asked, not knowing what he would say to Murdock if Face refused to stay with him tonight.

"Nothing, Hannibal," Face replied as he took a deep breath. "Just needed a second there. I'm fine now. Let's go." 

The three men resumed their walk to Murdock's room. Richter paused outside the door and knocked. A moment later, they heard the lock being turned. The door swung open to reveal B.A. He looked as though he was ready for his own room. Apparently Murdock had been taking out some of his agitation on the Sergeant and he was at the end of his patience. 

"Man, Hannibal, am I glad you're here. That crazy fool been drivin' me nuts!" Hannibal laughed as B.A. shook his head. 

"Why don't you go wait outside for me, B.A. I'll be out in a minute."

"Sure, Hannibal. Anything to get outta here," the big man said as he walked out of the room, making straight for the exit.

"Well, if you'll excuse me," Richter said, "I've got rounds to make. I'll look in on you later, Murdock."

"I guess I got on the big guy's nerves some, huh?" Murdock asked after Richter left.

"That's all right, Captain," Hannibal answered. "I think B.A. understands. Well, I'd better get going before he decides to overhaul Face's 'Vette. I'll see you two in the morning."

"Don't forget to call," Murdock called out to him as he left the room. Face locked the door after Hannibal and sat down on the bed next to the pilot.

"What was that all about?" Face asked.

"I asked him to call and check up on us." Murdock replied. He was looking out of the window so he would not have to look at his friend.

"Why?" 

"In case... in case you wanted to... you know... leave... or something. I mean, I'd understand and all. I can't believe you'd be willing to... to spend the night here after... after..." Murdock trailed off, unable to say the words. Face was silent for a moment as Murdock's words sank in. He felt his anger growing as he thought about what his best friend had just said. 

"DAMN IT, Murdock!" Face yelled, no longer able to contain his emotions. Murdock jumped and turned around at the angry words coming from his friend. He had not expected Face to be so mad.

"Fa...Face?"

"What do I have to do?" Face shouted. He jumped to his feet, unable to sit still. "Huh? Answer me, Murdock!"

"What? Face... I don't un... understand," Murdock stammered.

"What do I have to do to make you trust me again, Murdock?" Face asked softly.

"Trust YOU, again?" Murdock repeated, in voice incredulous.

"Yes. What do I have to do to make you trust me again? Make you trust me not to hurt you, or walk away from you, or turn my back on you? What do I have to do to make you trust that I love you?" Face could not stop the tears from running down his face as he spoke. 

"I trust you, Faceman," Murdock answered after a minute.

"No, you don't. You keep waiting for me to get scared and pull away. Well, I am scared, but I'll be damned if I'm going to run away from this." Face turned to look at his friend again, his eyes red and swollen. "I may be scared of this thing between us, but I am NOT scared of YOU."

Face walked back over and sat down on the bed next to Murdock. Carefully, he pulled the pilot into his arms and held him. Murdock felt himself being rocked gently back and forth and closed his eyes. He felt safe and loved in his friend's arms. Relaxing finally, Murdock drifted off to sleep.

Face realized Murdock had fallen asleep and smiled to himself. He stretched the pilot out on his bed, and after hesitating a moment, climbed in beside the sleeping man. He wrapped his arms around his friend and pulled him to his chest. Holding Murdock tightly in his arms, Face, too, drifted off to sleep.

Unbeknownst to the sleeping men, they were being watched. As a precaution against discovery, Dr. Jacobs had Murdock's room under surveillance. As the men slept peacefully, he made preparations to continue his little experiment. 

 

At the beach house, B.A. and Hannibal found themselves unable to relax. The feeling that something was not right nagged at both men. After realizing that neither of them was going to get any rest, they decided to return to the VA. As they made their way through town, neither man could shake the feeling of dread that had settled around them.

Face came awake to the sound of the lock being turned. He reached for his gun. He remembered that he had removed it before lying down when his hand came up empty. He lunged for the dresser where the weapon lay, knowing he could not make it before the door swung open. Determined to protect Murdock, he swung around to face the threat. 

There in the doorway stood Hannibal. An unconscious man lay at his feet. A moment later, he was joined by B.A. and Richter, who came running up the hallway. 

"Looks like you just found Dr. Jacobs," Richter announced. The commotion managed to awaken Murdock who tried to take in the scene around him.

"Face?" Murdock questioned, confused.

"It's alright, Murdock. It seems Dr. Jacobs tried to pay us a little visit." At Murdock's alarmed look Hannibal went on to explain that he and B.A. saw him as he was opening the door and took the liberty of relieving him of his consciousness.

"It's over then?" Murdock asked. His voice showed his uncertainty.

"It's over," Face answered. "Hannibal, can you guys take care of this garbage while Murdock and I try to get some sleep?" 

"Sure, kid. Get some rest." Hannibal answered.

"And make sure that crazy fool gets some rest, too," B.A. added before reaching down to pick up the unconscious doctor. As the others left, Face closed the door behind them and locked it.

"You... you don't have to stay here now, Faceman," Murdock said hesitantly. "You can leave if you want."

"Not another word, Murdock," Face said as he again laid his gun on the dresser. "Not another word." He quickly climbed back into the bed and wrapped his arms around Murdock once more. Murdock started to protest, but Face just pulled him back against his chest and held him. In minutes, they were both asleep.

*************************************

It was almost a week, and quite a few sessions, before Murdock was ready to leave the VA again. B.A. was waiting in the van for him when he came out. Murdock had been upset when Face had told him that he was not going to pick him up but Face had said he had a surprise planned for him. Murdock, however, was not sure he wanted to be surprised by Face right now. When the van pulled up in front of the house, Hannibal came outside. He greeted Murdock, then climbed into the van with B.A. 

"He's waiting for you upstairs, Captain. We'll be back tomorrow afternoon sometime," Hannibal said before he and B.A. sped away. 

Murdock walked inside the house feeling more than a little nervous. He took his time, making sure the doors were all locked downstairs. He walked upstairs slowly. His fear was growing steadily. He did not know what Face had planned, but the fact that Hannibal and B.A. were not going to be here made him even more nervous about it. He stood outside the door to Face's room and knocked softly.

"Come in," Face called through the door. Murdock opened it and froze at the sight that greeted him. Face was stretched out on the bed. His arms were secured to the bedposts and he was blindfolded.

"What's...what's going on, Face? Who did this?" Murdock asked. He knew there was no way Face could have gotten himself trussed up like he was on his own.

"Hannibal," Face answered simply.

"Hannibal tied you to the bed?" Murdock asked in disbelief.

"Yes," Face replied matter-of-factly.

"Wh... why?" Murdock could not keep the tremor out of his voice. He started to shake as pictures of Face and Hannibal flooded his mind.

"I asked him to. I wanted to show you that I trust you. And that you can trust me, too."

Murdock did not know what to say. Part of him was elated that Face trusted him enough to offer himself carte blanche. Another part of him was scared to death of it.

"What's wrong, Murdock?" Face asked as Murdock remained silent.

"Face...how can..."

"Because I love you," he interrupted. Again the Captain's response was silence.

"Murdock," Face asked as the silence continued, "what else is wrong?"

"It's nothing."

"Murdock, please? Tell me."

"It's really nothing. It's just, well, when you said Hannibal did this, um, I kinda thought..." Murdock trailed off, unable to say the words.

"You thought what?"

"I thought that you and Hannibal were, uh, you know, fooling around," he finally managed to say.

"Me and HANNIBAL!" Face exclaimed. "No, Murdock. I told Hannibal what I wanted to do and he agreed to help me."

Relieved, Murdock stood back to once again take in the sight of the man who was about to become his lover. The sight of Face's beautiful body stretched out on the bed made Murdock's groin begin to tighten. He turned and closed the bedroom door, then slowly approached the bed. Murdock saw the knife lying on the end table and froze again.

"What's the knife for, Face?" he asked fearing he already knew the answer.

"For you to use, just like before," Face stated.

"Face, I can't..."

"Yes, you can," Face interrupted. "I love you and I trust you. We are putting this behind us once and for all right here."

"I love you, Faceman," Murdock whispered as he stepped forward and picked up the knife. The fact that it was the same one he had used before did not escape his notice. 

Face felt his own groin twitch as Murdock neared. He was not afraid and he groaned when he felt Murdock's warm mouth cover his own. Kneeling by the side of the bed, Murdock explored Face's mouth until the other man was moaning continually. Looking down, he could see the bulge in Face's pants. Carefully, he began to cut away the buttons on his friend's shirt. 

As he removed the shirt completely, his eyes stopped on the marks that still covered his friend's chest. He knew they would fade entirely in time, but they were a vivid reminder of what he had done. Pain shot through Murdock as he looked at his handiwork. The knowledge that HE had been the one to inflict this on the man he loved made his eyes well up with tears. 

"It's alright, Murdock," Face said, sensing the other man's pain. "Please, don't stop now."

"Face..." Murdock trailed off, words failing him.

"I want you, Murdock. I want you more than I have ever wanted anyone in my life. Please, don't let him win."

Murdock leaned forward and kissed his lover again. Face groaned into his mouth as he felt himself get even harder. As carefully as possible, Murdock cut away the remainder of Face's clothing. With Face completely naked, Murdock dropped the knife and stood again. He looked at Face laid out naked before him and licked his lips.

Looking down his friend's body, he saw that Face was now fully erect. Kneeling once more, he began to slowly kiss his way down his lover's body. Murdock took his time tasting and exploring. Finally, as Face writhed on the bed, Murdock took him into his mouth. Face cried out as he came almost instantly. 

When Face's spasms stopped, Murdock began to gently kiss his way back up his body. Their mouths met and Face groaned again. The taste of himself on Murdock's tongue making him hard once more. Gasping, the two men broke apart for air. A slight stab of pain reminded Murdock that he was still fully clothed and in need of release.

"What... what about you?" Face asked as if reading his mind.

"I want to make love to you, Templeton," Murdock said solemnly. "May I?"

Face felt like his heart would burst at Murdock's words. He felt more love for this man than he had ever thought he would feel. He nodded his head, unable to speak with the emotions raging inside him. Gently, Murdock removed the blindfold. Face blinked at the light for a moment before focusing on Murdock. As his eyes adjusted to the light, Murdock removed the restraints holding him to the bed. Face rubbed his wrists and looked questioningly at Murdock as he backed away from the bed. 

"Why'd you untie me?" he asked.

"Because I want to make love to you," Murdock replied as he removed his clothes. "And I want you to see that it's ME making love to you. I want to be able to look into your eyes the first time you feel me inside you." 

Murdock removed the last of his clothes and approached the bed again. Face had become hard again at his lover's words. Murdock looked down at him once more before laying down beside him. 

"And I want to see your face when I cum inside you for the first time," Murdock continued. 

"Please, Murdock," Face began to beg only to have his words cut off as Murdock's mouth closed over his own.

The made love until they were too exhausted to move and fell asleep in each other's arms. When morning came, they awoke together and made love again. As noon, and the return of Hannibal and B.A., neared, they finally left the bedroom. Their nightmare vanquished once and for all. 

THE END


End file.
